Why women shouldn't take men shopping against their will

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14 years 1 month ago - 14 years 1 month ago #7759 by laisonalbarado
After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found
shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.


Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, “Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.”

August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

September 14: Moved a “CAUTION - WET FLOOR” sign to a carpeted area.

September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least

December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

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14 years 1 month ago - 14 years 1 month ago #5632 by Jop
It sounds like Mr. Fenton is a retired ex-piper.

Do it once and Do it Right

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14 years 1 month ago - 14 years 1 month ago #5672 by keyuroza
I agreed with JOP

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14 years 3 weeks ago - 14 years 3 weeks ago #5702 by shrivallabha
Maybe a little serious note to the humorous post.
There's Jack and Suzy Welch's book "WINNING". Work-Life balance is one of the points discussed!

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14 years 2 weeks ago - 14 years 2 weeks ago #5727 by Giraffe
At the risk of sticking my head above the parapet and getting it firmly shot off, I'd like to suggest that in future Mr Fenton stays at home and does the housework while Mrs Fenton goes out shopping?!!!

Just a thought

I will await your comments and hope I haven't started a riot!

Rowena

blog.giraffejobs.co.uk

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14 years 2 weeks ago - 14 years 2 weeks ago #5728 by Anton
Mr. Fenton "could" do that ....... but you know that it could never be to Mrs. Fentons standards!!

- If you're the smartest person in the room ... you're in the wrong room.

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